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I love it!DAY 29Hair started growing back, and I got depressed again. Was gonna stay inbed, but the boys called to go out to pick up chicks, figured it mightcheer me up. It didn't. I kept staring at attractive women, noticingthings I'd never noticed before. How they moved, how their voicessounded, the shape of their wrists and hips. All I could think was thatI'd never have what they have. I musta been pretty drunk, but the feelingwon't go away. I keep looking at my hands and I hate them so much, thereso big and broad, like the rest of me. I thought that's what I alwayswanted, but I can't stand it. I feel like a monster.DAY 30Saw Dr. [Name Redacted] and told her about how I'm feeling. She referredme to a therapist. A month ago I would've hated the idea, butnow...anything that might help with the way I'm feeling.DAY 32Had my first appointment with Dr. [Name Redacted]. He said it soundedlike I might have gender dysphoria. I fuckin' walked out. I'm not a [SlurRedacted], I'm a man!DAY. Although my mind was still largely masculine my body was dictating my responses and it was becoming feminine. To my astonishment I found that my body wanted more and wanted to be treated as a woman's.With each touch of Eric's hands, I could feel my masculinity begin to fade and I knew that once gone it would never come back. Soon it would be gone forever.Eric stopped kissing me and whispered in my ear,"Lets go to your room, Susan, and I will show you how attractive I find you"His meaning was clear and yet I found myself actually wanting him in a way I had never felt before. I was sexually aroused in a way I had never been before. My penis, no longer capable of an erection, felt numb, and what I felt in my groin was like a hollow ache that needed to be filled. All thought of having to take capsule to avoid pain had left my head.I let Eric lead me by the hand to my room where he immediately pulled me to him and kissed me again. As we kissed I felt his hand undo the zip at the back of.
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